The Cost of Speaking Truth to Power
Under the link “Victim Testimonials” we share the opinions of victims on our progressive programs
Under the Link “BBB” (Businesses Behaving Badly) along with victims themselves, we share their experiences of being hurt while seeking recovery services (from victim service providers) or “justice” (from courts, law enforcement etc…)
Under “Community Contributions” we share our extensive list of accomplishments and community service
Under the link “Bios” we share the Bios of our Trustees & Division Directors
On this link, “Speaking Truth to Power”, we explain the destructive words and actions of other organizations (including governmental, non-profits etc…) and a number of service providers
For the last couple of decades, among other services, we have offered victims/survivors a forum to bear witness to their suffering and to name those who caused it, in an effort to help others avoid the same experience. While this is popular with consumers of recovery services (victims) it has not been with those who believed they were exploiting, harming or abusing people too weak, poor and beaten down to stand up and tell the world.
Part of our job is to educate and provide information to help people make choices that keep them safe. This often includes naming the names of other service providers and powerful people that cause victims harm, intentionally or not, when the victim seeks help or “justice”. We name names because people need to know who is doing what to whom and we never name names prior to giving the person or org (“org” hereinafter refers to the subject individuals, service providers, non-profits, agencies etc…) an opportunity to right the wrong at most and at least, to respond.
When working with trauma survivors they must be handled by experienced people, with care, in order to avoid causing further harm. It is imperative that those exploiting, abusing or mishandling victims negligently, ignorantly or intentionally be identified with the goal of helping future victims avoid the experience. There is no one else providing this vital service, making it a gap in services, which is one of this Trust’s stated Missions.
Prior to naming names, we try to discuss the harmful policy/procedure with the offending org. They usually see no reason to discuss it and, once publicly identified, they usually respond with passive-aggressive, covert gossip, rumors, manipulation and defamation – the most cowardly form of self-defense. In this culture where people whisper their allegations and complaints and hide from the words they’ve uttered, we, and those brave enough to tell the truth and use names, are unique and pay a terrible price. Those who have found their negative actions revealed are usually people who won’t hesitate to initiate smear campaigns, blackballing and defamation. Ideally, their response would be one of taking responsibility, learning different strategies and tools and an explanation or apology (the behavior of humble people with integrity).
Victim services in the state of Indiana are currently worse than they have been in the preceding 20 years. While consumers remodeling their homes have lists of painters and roofers to avoid, consumers of services for trauma survivors have only rumor and gossip, people referring to their friends, orgs that provide kickbacks or orgs that have cuddled up into the arm pit of power, giving them funding for massive advertising. These referrals are seldom backed up with fact and often contaminated with politics.
The victims of abusive, negligent or ignorant orgs have never had any recourse and our org has dealt with taking on this service for the last two decades. We initially refused to respond to the gossip and rumors we were subject to out of retaliation. We then tried confronting some of the orgs involved. They felt no need to even acknowledge our presence or that of the victim we were representing. Believing that their actions would eventually come back to bite them, we continued ignoring their defamatory and damaging behaviors, all the way to the point of being defined by them, injured victims being consistently dismissed, continuing harm, the standard of services declining and effective services being denied.
The incestuous nature of almost all businesses and organizations meant we did not only suffer the wrath of those named but anyone who carried their advertisements, or that they otherwise did business with. This also included anyone who would stop and listen to the gossip that belonged more on bathroom walls than in meetings and discussions on recovery services.
20 years ago, victim rights organizations fought hard to ensure that victims of violent crimes had effective services and were not retraumatized as they sought services or “justice”. This was how I was trained. It appears many have forgotten about protecting the victim and seem to be preoccupied with “territories”, funding, media attention, credit for programs etc…
The statistics on domestic violence have not changed in 20 years. There is a reason for this given the small army working in the field and the dollars thrown at the problem. While many service providers cannot seem to defame us enough for their satisfaction, we are popular with the victims/survivors and adolescents we work with. It is now time to flood these allegations with light and to soak the gossip in bleach.
When local powerbrokers found out we were contributing to a piece on a national news magazine show (the likes of 60 Minutes, Dateline, 48 Hours etc…) and later, our program and website would be mentioned in a high circulation magazine (in other words, that the world was watching), they couldn’t have been more kind, respectful and helpful, proving that when those “misbehaving” have a light on them, they tend to behave.
When the cameras and reporters left, we could not. We were stuck here with some of the most powerful people in the state; infuriated that we had revealed their dangerous behaviors that, had not only injured people, but had also cost a number of lives. Not only our organization, but also our staff and open supporters were left to deal with the fury of those whose dangerous behaviors had been revealed. There was no “whistle blower” protection for us.
There were no long-term changes in the issues that had been the focus because, once national attention was gone, so was any motivation on the part of those able to make changes. Almost ten years later, the only change, other than our long list of accomplishments and contributions to the community, is the landslide effect of their severe punishment. It was so brutal that some of our staff and supporters actually left the state calling the severe consequences and fear “too much”.
Our society has finally started condemning schoolyard bullying, and many seem perplexed about where it comes from. As we struggle to teach citizenship and the parents verbalize that is what they want, they undo everything we do when their children see adult forms of bullying – gossiping about the neighbors, lying about those they don’t like, racism, making fun of and mocking people, blond jokes and generally picking on those they feel threatened by.
While I furiously dismissed the good advice of leaving the state, I had begun taking the efforts to “punish” us to heart. People are hurt by bullying whether it is schoolyard, political, business blackballing or whatever form it may take. We are starting to see a pattern with school shootings as more and more of the shooters are identified as having been picked on.
I will not go into the details except to say that the woman who did my job previously, paid such an ongoing, heavy price that she took her life. I then stepped into her shoes and the void she left. She fought the same battles, and died 12 miles from us. I cannot help but believe had she had the support we now openly offer women, she might be alive today.
Unless you have been there, it is hard to imagine all of the ingenious ways people of power can use to make you pay for challenging them. Initially, I did not understand how the wonderful woman that preceded me could be so hurt and believed there had to be something else underlying the story. After the continuation of the bullying and the reverberations of it for two decades, I understand the sacrifice she made, not the suicide, but the sacrifice of naming the names of those that harmed her and the victims she represented.
Twenty years ago, had a victim come to me and told me this about challenging power and telling the truth, I would have referred them to a psychiatrist. Today, I do not know where to refer them. Again, unfortunately, truly the community pays. We struggle to get the results of 30 years research out to women. That work is often taken and used without attribution. The community lost an incredible advocate, victims are repeatedly traumatized by the same orgs who answer to no one and victims are only offered services that those in power want them to have.
I teach my adolescents (and, at this point, I have worked with several hundred) that respect is not earned. It is a birthright. We treat people with dignity and respect until they prove they don’t deserve it and even then, we do not disrespect them. I refer to my adolescent sex offenders as “sir”, just as I do the young man working at a fast-food drive-thru. After giving respect, people may behave in ways that causes the respect to dissipate, but all souls deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.